i can't gather my thoughts

it's everywhere...

not mine,from tumblr

There's this.. trains of thought in my head. 
I wanted to pour it down..but believe me, it doesn't have a proper flow
just fragments and unjoined up thoughts on this and that.


future.
is still very unpredictable and it's scaring me..
I know exactly what I want..where I wanna be..
but that's the thing about life
everything wasn't easy
I can dream all I want 
but achieving the dream..is another story.


marriage.
I went to a wedding ceremony and I met my childhood friend, Fatimah.
we used to go to school together.
and now, when I'm still in a journey of realizing my dreams
and not to mention, single forever alone..
she's on the other hand, had settle down her life
she's married, pregnant at the age of 21 and looking plump!
oh god. she used to be so thin, thinner than I am.
how can she be so sure that being someone wedded wife is what she want in life?
will she ever regret her decision?


sound of silence.
in my village.
I love when I woke up in the middle of the night
there's almost no sound of anything.
silence that doesn't make me feel alone
silence that make me feel calmer.
I wish I could stayed a lil bit longer in my village
cause now, I'm craving for those sounds of silence


friends.
friends that changed.
friends that stay.
friends from my past.
friends from my present
friends that makes me smile.
friends that makes me cry.
friends that love me.
friends that break me.
I still remember every single one of them.


Told ya. I'm a mess right now..
riding a roller coaster of emotion..
hmmmmm..or prolly cause I'm PMS-ing
Anyway, I'm gonna gather my thoughts & recover soon!