less than 3

Source: http://thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg.tumblr.com

THAT IS LIKE ' MY THOUGHT EXACTLY'!

Okay I know this felt so wrong cause in less than two months ago I was like being this cool bitch who claimed 'I don't wanna be romantically involve with just any boys'..You know what, I'm still the same bitch.. don't worry. Goshhhhh~ my choice of word..please excuse it! XD

The thing is...... there is this guy that I like. L.I.K.E. and for me like is more than just a crush but less than love. Mathematically speaking, CRUSH< LIKE < LOVE or LOVE> LIKE > CRUSH

Get it? Get it?

But often time, I do feel like I don't even know him to like him so much..and I don't know..he confuse me..and I know I think I confuse him too..... There is this wall that I build for years and it's not easy to just let someone in..

YAAAAHHHH~ Farhana, why are you like this? /slap self

and I simply hate the idea of telling people about my feeling cause I hate the drama that comes with it. Like people could either be super judgmental or they know someone who like the same guys too..bla..bla..bla.. Ya, I hate those complication when really~ its just about how you feel. It concern you..and just you. It's your feeling..it's your right. Being me, though I know it hurts, but when I like someone then I'm just gonna continue liking him..even if he like someone else. Simply cause you have the right to have a feeling... liking someone doesn't really mean that you wanna be with him or her. Its different from wanting to be with someone. I want you is not equal to I like you...and I believe in destiny.. you may not gonna be with him/her now but if its meant to be..fate will bring you together someday :)

So yeah folks, weird its coming from a girl who didn't even date anyone for the past two years (and counting)...haha..but if you sincerely like someone, its totally okay to let the feeling stays.....until you find someone else that makes your heart skip a beat...cause you can't force a feeling nor stop it..it hurts only when you're hoping for him/her to feel the same way..so, don't hope. 

EWWWWWWWWWWW..I DID NOT JUST WRITE A CHEESY STUFF LIKE THAT.SOMEONE HACKED MY BLOG. HELPPPPPPP! LOL! I'm crazy deal with it~ 

Thanks for reading to whoever :)

imstillacoolbitchFYI

He's married

*warning: A VERY PERSONAL POST*

A Vday post !

You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you're attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It's never been about what you want, it's always everyone's needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you're okay with that, because they're in your life and that's all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you'll still be there for them. Because that's you, that's who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it's so hard for you to let him go. (cr: samytanaa)

I'm not ashamed to admit that I used to be that kind of girl and it is not something  that I should be proud of. I don't wanna be that anymore...ever in my whole life...I swear, I regretted being a clingy, immature kind of girlfriend to someone before, not that I want him back or anything...I was just looking back and realized how grateful I was towards him, towards the memories that we had,if we were never destined to met back then, I won't be here today, I won't be as strong as I am today. :) Anyway, im single on Vday for three years and counting...somehow, it felt kinda lonely seeing all these happy couples on fb and twitter..and not gonna lie, I am envying them...well, a bit. Despite of that, I didn't plan to be in a relationship anytime soon,urrmmmm... I'll give it a few more years then....you know~ now I'm just chillin', feel like I'm healing...*imitates changmin* HAHAHA XD I'm just not ready yet...cause I know being in relationship takes more than just falling in love, it needs commitments from both parties, physically and emotionally. Emotional attachments is something that I know I'm not capable off, I sucks at it. I can't control my emotion, I'm far more vulnerable than I appeared to be. For the record, I never did well in my studies when I was in a relationship. *sigh* I'm all set to stay focus and finish my degree with flying colors, get a job and makes my parents proud. Before accomplishing that, there's no way on earth I'm gonna give up being single. (ganbarimassu!!!!)  Being a fangirl is enough distraction to my study, if I add boyfriend, it'll be suicide....! 

my ideal guy is officially married...

well...let's play a guessing game..! who do you think is my ideal guy?

Like seriously my ideal guy..~ A guy that I would marry in real life..

uh-huh...not because I'm a delusional fangirl but because I'm an ordinary girl..

still looking for my Mr Right..

Candidate A: Ninomiya Kazunari

Candidate B: Kwon Jiyong

Candidate C: Lee Kiseop

Candidate D: Miura Haruma

Candidate E: Tomok 

Candidate F: None of the above!

so..make your choice & click below for my answer!!!!

missing you

Suddenly I was like... missing high school days sfm.

high school days mean days that I spend with him.

it was stupid to miss someone that hurt you so much...someone

that you really wanna forget..someone who brought nothing but those painful memories

but ya.still. I kinda miss him....

is this even allowed?

*sigh*

i dun even know.

LOVED.
past tense.

Boyfriend

After watching Buzzer Beat, I felt like I want a boyfriend. It was nice to have someone who cares about you, someone who call and text you every now and then, someone to go on a date with, someone who share his life with you..just having someone by your side and make you happy. I really want to have that "someone" by my side. 
But then again, I don't know..I'm not sure if having a boyfriend is something right for me. It takes me awhile to get used to yknow~ being single.. I used to have boyfriend since I was sixteen and I'm officially single when I was 19. I have no scandal. No so called future boyfriend or whatever..Its been a year. Honestly, I'm so comfortable with my life now. In a way that, I don't live for anyone else but me. I appreciate myself more and my family. I live a very stable life. Physically and emotionally. I tends to be so emotional when I'm in a relationship..so, not being in a relationship is good..no emotional attachment..watsoever.. 

Its not like I'm not normal..I do fall for random guys that I met in real life... but the feeling just won't develop. I don't have the bravery to love someone..I can't risk myself.. I don't wanna be hurt anymore.. I don't wanna cry for a guy anymore.. I'm scared..I'm still scared.