the kind of person you are

I don't know if anyone else ever experienced this...

" The awkward moment when you know, someone who acted nice in front of you was actually bad mouthing you, behind your back"....urmmm..scratch awkward, and replaced it with HURTFUL.

Sadly, there's nothing that I can possibly do to stop them from doing so..people's mouths are something that I had no control over. I could cried a river. I could get upset or go all the way explaining to others that I'm not that kind of girl. But what's the point? It ain't gonna change the fact that he did bad mouthing me. It ain't gonna changed the fact that they were people who had listened to him and never gonna look at me the same anymore. 

*sigh*

Why do you think I spend my two years with only Es, Fyon, Erine and Ann?

Why do you think I gave up socializing?

Why do you think I spend my two years with only fangirling?

I hate drama. I hate complication. I simply want a simple life. 

Somewhat, I am not surprised that people actually talked bad behind my back, cause obviously I had flaws..I'm not perfect. And I can't blame people nor stop them for being judgmental. I can't stop people for being observant on whatever that I'm doing. What really surprised me is the fact that I'm worthy of their time..

or may be its my fault cause I tend to speak my mind on twitter and some people could not handle my choice of words, therefore, over thinking it and became an issues. I don't know. Did people judge based on our tweets too nowadays? So, people are bad just because they used harsh words on twitter? Really? If yes, then I'm sorry. Sorry for being bold. May be I should've text you, rather than tweeting it.

From this time forward. I'm done hurting. I'm done crying. I'm done worrying. I'm done losing friends because of the matter. But then, I'm gonna do nothing to fix it.. I'll move on instead...and just gonna stop thinking about shit that makes me unhappy, once and for all.

I just had a few questions unanswered: 
Why does it matter to people if I actually like someone?Did I not have right to keep my love life privately?Why does it concern people so much? when really..it is just between me and him.I really can't understand.... If we are friend, why does those things matter so much?I'm still me. I wouldn't changed. I still need a friend....I still need someone who sincerely want me as a friend and just a friend without any other ulterior motive. Why can't they just be a friend? T________Ta real friend. 

I've made up my mind though..I'm just gonna continue being myself and be with people that accept me for who I am and not who they expect me to be :)